My Auntie Moment

I'd just finished purchasing a baby shower gift today. My brother and sister-in-law are soon to adopt a baby, and the shower is next week.

I slogged to Babies-R-Us, printed out 16 pages of a baby gift registry (my brother thinks optimistically), and went trundling through the store in a cart that pulled to the left. Finding the Pack 'n Play Lite (an entirely selfish purchase as this is where the new baby will sleep when he/she comes to visit his/her auntie), I hurried to the cashier and checked out. I then wrestled the cart on a straight path to my car, dumped my niece's/nephew's bassinet/playpen/changing table Lite in the back of my car, locked it up and went to the Hallmark store.

I was buying wrapping paper when it suddenly occurred to me I'm going to be an aunt. Not in the very cool friend-of-Mom aunt , but a REAL AUNT! I became very emotional in the store, tearing up and trying to select baby shower wrapping paper and ribbon. I continued to be flooded with these feelings of elation -- it seems all my siblings and I have known for the last 29 years is disease, death, and insanity (not necessarily in that order). A baby is actually... a GOOD thing!

I was beaming with auntie pride and choking back auntie tears in Hallmark while I made my selections of wrapping, a curly bow, and a little gift bag for a birthday gift for a co-worker. I managed to compose myself to bring my purchases to the cash register. I'm gonna be an aunt. Yes. This is so life-affirming!

"Do you have a Gold Crown card?" perky sales person asked.

"No. I don't have it with me."

"Did you get your card at this store?"

"No," I replied, handing her my debit card.

"Oh," perky sales person looked sad for me. Okay, so no Gold Crown points. She swiped my debit card.

"Would you like this in a bag with everything?" she asked, indicating the tube of wrap.

"No, that's okay," I said indifferently.

She then looked at my debit card and asked, "Can I see some ID?"

It's eight bucks worth of merchandise, WTF would she need to see my ID for? I stared at her for a moment and then fished around in my purse for my ID, and produced it for her.

Satisfied that I wasn't defrauding Hallmark for $8 with a fake debit card, she handed me the receipt to sign. While I was signing, she put my purchases in the bag, held up the tube of wrap and asked, "Do you want this in the bag?"

Hadn't she already asked that?

"No." I said slowly.

"Okay," perky sales person said handing me my stuff. "Thank you!"

So I left, and coincidentally, so had my Auntie Moment. It disappeared in a sprinkling of perky, stupid, retail clerk pixie dust.

Little twerp.

On top of that, the shower wrapping turned out to be Pooh and Piglet birthday cake crap. A whole row of it stuck in the baby shower wrapping paper section.

Hallmark sucks.