The Maternal Claws Emerge

An interesting Saturday. A bat mitzvah in the morning, a cousin's birthday party in the evening and, for me, bonus time with my nineteen-month-old niece.

Or so I thought.

My sister-in-law (mother to my niece) asserted herself on a couple of issues yesterday. During services, my niece got a little restless (as expected) and she started babbling loudly. I gently put a couple of fingers over her mouth, and my SIL said, "Marcia, don't do that" and pulled her from my lap.

Next, at lunch in the synagogue, I just casually mentioned I was concerned about the growing intolerance in the rural areas and worried that my niece might be targeted in school. My brother seemed to agree, and we talked about her going to Ladue, but my sister declared that Ladue was filled with snobs. Never mind that it's a good school, that it's diverse, that parents are involved and education standards are high. I suppose if that's snobby, I'm having trouble finding a problem with it.

Well... okay. She's entitled to her opinion and ultimately it's none of my business.

Last night, my niece was moved from lap to lap between me, my SIL and my cousin. Stupid me thought she needed to walk around a bit, so I took her outside to the patio and around the pool area, carrying her. I put her down and held her hand as we walked back to the the clubhouse. She let go and started running and I went after her, but saw that she was running toward her mother. Her mother picked her up and said, "She's too close to the pool. I don't want her taking off on you."

Confused, I said, "Okay." She was holding onto my hand just fine until her mother showed up.

I accompanied her back to the doorway of the clubhouse, at which time, SIL said as if she needed to explain herself further, "She just takes off sometimes and I don't want anything to happen."

I gently replied, "I wouldn't have let anything happen." I may be fat, but I'm faster than a 19-month-old with only five months of running experience.

"Oh, I know," she answered brightly. "It's just it's Aunt Mimi's party, and I wouldn't want anything to ruin it."

"Okay," I said, suitably chastised for yet a third time that day. And now a bit hurt.

I decided not to follow her into the clubhouse, so I headed back out and walked around the pool in the dark, trying very hard not to cry. I was successful. Somewhat.

I ended up in the other side of the clubhouse and went into the ladies room, thinking I could be alone, but there was my cousin Sandy, the birthday girl. Bright and happy that about 100 friends and family showed up to surprise her for her 50th birthday.

I sobered up, determined not to ruin her party with my own private pity party.

"Hey, you gonna do karaoke with me?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't think so. I don't have nearly as much wine in me for that," I smiled. I only had diet coke.

I followed Sandy back out to the crowd and saw that my brother was geared up and ready to leave. I chit-chatted with him briefly, not bothering to mention his wife's averting a tragedy by pre-emptively saving their daughter from drowning due to my neglect and subsequently ruining Sandy's party. SIL emerges with my niece in her arms and I put on the cheerful face to say goodbye.

My niece reached for me and my SIL let me take her. I carried her out to the car, because walking and holding her hand is just a formula for disaster. I chatted away, giving my niece kisses along the way. When we got to the car, I gave her back to her mother to put her in her car seat. My niece reached for me again, and I just gave her kisses and got out of the way. I said my good-byes, told my brother I hoped his foot felt better, and headed back into the clubhouse.

I was eventually talked into singing karaoke with my cousins. Which I'm glad I did. We sang Drift Away, then We Are Family. I really need to get them into my life more.

Today, I'm just tired. Still confused. Still hurt.

Can't wait for next week when my insane sister blows into town with her socially retarded husband.

Oh, it's great to be me.

UPDATE: I received an apology by email sent around 4:30 a.m. She admitted to having overreacted but that she didn't know where her daughter went. She assured me that she trusts me, then suggested a dinner date for me and my niece this week. I apologized for assuming she'd seen me with her and promised to make sure to tell her next time. I hope to be taking my sweet little girl to McDonald's or Red Robin next week.

The sister/brother-in-law coming to town issue still hangs in the air like mustard gas. I just hope they're serving a lot of wine at my aunt's book signing next Sunday or that my brother doses up on Flexaril for the weekend.